Ever try to stick to a diet... and then quit?

It's happened to me before.

One of the interesting things I've learned after coaching nearly 500 humans over the past 8 years, is how similar humans are.

Behavioral psychology is universal.

Regardless of where you live on the planet, we all have commonalities.

Your childhood and early influences play a big role in who you become later in life.

So understanding your origin story and current beliefs means uncovering the parts of yourself you won't enjoy looking at.

But that's where personal transformation begins.

According to pschologists, even the top athletes, leaders, and CEO's don't rely on willpower.

They rely on something else.

It's called an identity shift.

James Clear talks about this in his book 'Atomic Habits'.

When you rely only on willpower, you'll get more tired as the day goes on.

By the time you reach the evening, your willpower is nearly gone.

Willpower is another way of describing your ego.

Your willpower can be trained like a muscle.

Which means the more you use it the stronger it gets.

But like all muscles it takes time to develop and strength it.

You can also push yourself too hard (75 hard anyone?).

So let's come back to identity shift.

Here's a great illustration of the 4 stages of learning:

Notice how in the beginning of learning anything, your skill is low and you stink.

To move from being sucky to less sucky you need to put in the reps.

Over time you'll gain more skill (or competence) and start to create ingrained habits.

Eventually you'll reach the point where you are able to perform the skill without much thought or effort.

However there's a shortcut to see even faster results.

Start acting the like person you want to become.

Again, what you do is a reflection of who you are.

If you want to change who you are and the results you're seeing in your life, start by changing your behaviors.

Easier said than done, though...

Let's breakdown the 4 stages of learning so you will no longer need willpower for dieting or fitness ever again:

The 4 Stages of Learning (and Why They Matter)

To build your new identity, master the 4 stages of learning:

1. Unconscious incompetence You don’t know what you don’t know. (Think: your first attempt at meal prepping that turned into a Pinterest fail.)
2. Conscious incompetence You know you’re bad at something, but at least now you’re aware. ("Why does cooking tofu always feel like rocket science?")
3. Conscious competence You’re getting the hang of it, but it still takes effort. (Meal prep Sundays? Check. Remembering your gym bag? Work in progress.)
4. Unconscious competence You’ve mastered the skill, and it’s second nature. (You can whip up a balanced vegan meal and hit the gym without thinking twice.)

Expert tip: start acting like the person you want to become now.

Even if it feels unnatural at first, your small behaviors will stack up.

Before long, they’ll form the foundation of your new identity.

How to Apply This to Your Diet (Without Willpower)

Here’s a simple, three-step method to ditch willpower and make lasting changes:

1. Define your new identity: Who do you want to become? Get specific. Maybe it’s "a plant-based leader who’s lean, strong, and energized."
2. Take small, consistent actions: Start with one habit that aligns with your identity. For example:
   • Prep your lunch the night before.
   • Drink a glass of water before every meal.
   • Strength train twice a week.
3. Reinforce your identity daily: Celebrate small wins and remind yourself of who you’re becoming. Each action, no matter how small, strengthens your identity.

Why This Works

So is this just feel-good advice?

The research says differently.

Recent studies show that identity-based habits are more effective than relying on motivation or willpower alone (Oyserman, 2009).

When your actions align with your identity, they require less effort.

They become automatic, sustainable, and—most importantly—part of who you are.

So if you’ve been struggling to stick to a diet, it’s not your fault.

It's the industry that preys off of you and I.

The nutrition and health giants understand how human psychology works.

It's why you're marketed relentlesly and taught to believe that 'being more disciplined, and going hard' is what you need to do.

But I've tried this.

You've tried this.

It doesn't lead to permanent success or transformation.

Instead of running out of willpower each day, start building your identity instead.

Who do you want to become?

Make the decision today.

Focus on your identity and take action on it each day.

Build Habits That Stick

So what's the best way to build identity habits?

Use this system: Start small, win big.

Here are three practical strategies to move in the right direction:

Habit stacking: By linking your new behavior to an existing habit, you’ll create a natural cue for action.\

It’s like piggybacking your way to success.

• After you brush your teeth in the morning, drink a glass of water.
• After you start your pot of tea, stretch for 2 minutes.
• After you sit down for dinner, write down one win from your day.

Habit Speed: This approach removes the guesswork and keeps you aligned with your goals, even on tough days.

• If I’m tempted to skip my workout, then I’ll put on my gym shoes and commit to 5 minutes.
• If I crave junk food, then I’ll grab a high-protein snack like roasted tofu blocks or edamame.
• If I feel too tired to cook dinner, then I’ll heat up a pre-prepped meal instead of ordering takeout.

Track Your Progress: My favorite saying: "What gets measured, can improve."

By tracking your habits, you’ll gain insight into what’s working and what needs tweaking.

Use a simple checklist, journal, or app to log your wins.

Each checkmark reinforces your identity and builds momentum.

Overcoming Setbacks

No journey is perfect.

You’ll have days when things don’t go as planned.

Don't let a single misstep derail your progress.

Here’s how to bounce back:

• Reframe the Slip-Up: Instead of thinking, "I failed," say, "I’m learning." Mistakes are part of the process.
• Focus on the Next Action: Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Ask yourself, "What’s one thing I can do right now to get back on track?"
• Remember Your Why: Revisit the deeper reason behind your goals. Whether it’s being a role model for your family or feeling your best every day, let your "why" guide you forward.

The Power of Environment

One of the most underrated tools for success?

Your environment.

When you design your surroundings to support your goals, you’ll reduce friction and make healthy choices easier.

Try this:

• Keep Temptations Out of Sight: Stock your pantry with whole, plant-based foods and limit processed snacks.
• Create Visual Cues: Place your workout gear where you’ll see it. Set your water bottle on your desk as a reminder to stay hydrated.
• Find Support: Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you. Join a community of like-minded individuals who share your vision for health and success.

Remember, your environment can either propel you toward your goals or pull you away from them.

Choose wisely.

Willpower is a useful friend.

But it should be used correctly.

Instead of using ONLY willpower, create identity based habits.

Willpower + identity habits + consistency = life long transformation.

Become your best self.

Looking forward to hearing who you become next year.

Onwards and upwards,